Fishy Matchmaker Cover Letter

Dear Maria, I hope this letter finds you well and in good match-making spirits. My name is Julie and I am writing on behalf of my mother, Sarah. She may be 36 years old, but she's young at heart and ready to find love again. As her daughter, it is my duty to help her in any way I can, and that includes enlisting the help of a professional matchmaker like yourself. First and foremost, let me introduce you to our family business - Fishy Matchmaker. Yes, you read that right. We specialize in finding love for our clients, but with a touch of humor and a splash of fishy puns. After all, love is a journey that should be enjoyed, not taken too seriously. Now, let's get down to the nitty-gritty. Sarah is looking for a new man in her life, a boyfriend to be exact. She has been single for quite some time now, focusing on raising me and my siblings. But now, she's ready to put herself out there and find someone who will love and cherish her for who she is - a kind, loving, and caring woman. You may be wondering why a 36-year-old woman needs her daughter to write a cover letter for her. Well, let me tell you, Maria, my mom may be amazing in many aspects, but writing is not one of them. She's more of a woman of action - especially in the bedroom. But we'll get to that later. Let's talk about Sarah's skills, shall we? She may not have a degree or a fancy job title, but she has all the qualities of a perfect wife. She takes care of herself, staying slim and fit. And yes, I have to mention this, she has big silicone breasts. I know, it's not a skill per se, but it's definitely a bonus. I mean, who doesn't love a good pair of boobs? Now, let's address the elephant in the room - sex. Sarah loves sex. And she's not shy about it. In fact, I have often heard her scream and moan during her orgasms. It's a good thing we live in a soundproof apartment, or else our neighbors would be quite concerned. But all jokes aside, Sarah is a passionate lover who enjoys exploring and trying new things in the bedroom. And let me tell you, Maria, she's not afraid to take the lead and show a man a thing or two. I have to be honest with you, Maria, Sarah is not the sharpest tool in the shed. But she makes up for it in other ways. She's a great listener and an even better communicator. She may not have a lot going on between her ears, but when it comes to giving a blowjob, she's a pro. And I'm not just saying that because she's my mom, but because she has had a lot of practice over the years. Sorry, TMI? Now, let's talk about the role Sarah is looking for - a girlfriend. She's not looking for a husband or a father for her children. She just wants someone she can have fun with, someone who will make her laugh, and someone she can share her life with. Of course, physical attraction is important, but Sarah is also looking for someone who can connect with her on a deeper level. I have to say, Maria, I am truly excited about this particular position in your company for Sarah. I have been browsing through your website and I love the way you match people based on their personalities and interests. I believe Sarah would be a perfect fit for your company, and your company would be a perfect fit for her. Plus, I think her sense of humor and love for fish puns would make her a great addition to your team. I know this may not be your typical cover letter, but I wanted to give you a glimpse of who Sarah is and why she would make an amazing girlfriend. I am confident that with your expertise and our family's support, we can find the perfect match for her. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter and considering Sarah for your services. Sincerely, Julie (on behalf of Sarah)