Cocksmashers Incorporated Cover Letter

Hello Mr. Dickus, I am writing in regards to the open position for a penis farmer at Cocksmashers Incorporated. I am immensely interested in this role and feel that I have the perfect skillset for it. I have always been fascinated by penises. Ever since I was a little boy, I would spend hours upon hours studying them in magazines and books. I even took a course in college on penis anatomy. I am confident that I know more about penises than anyone else out there. In addition to my passion for penises, I am also excellent at farting. I have been told by many people that I have the best farts in the world. I have even won several competitions. I believe that my farting skills would come in handy when working with such a sensitive subject matter. Lastly, I am excellent at managing staff. I have experience managing a team of programmers and have been praised for my leadership skills. I am confident that I could manage a team of penis farmers and help them to be the best that they can be. I am confident that I have the skills and qualifications that you are looking for in a penis farmer and would be a valuable asset to your team. I would be happy to discuss my qualifications further with you at your convenience. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely, Johnny Dildo-Feast